Audrey first began her singing career in 1492 as a galley wench aboard one of the Mayflower’s sister ships: The Nina. She would sing a sea shanty or two whilst cooking potatoes for the crew. Upon landing in The New World, little is known of what she did for the next 500 years; though there are rumors that circulate about extended tours of Florida working the “gumbo circuit” and a brief stint in textile manufacturing. In 1995 she stole the Millennium Falcon and flew to Norway where she learned the rumba from “Maestro” Kløst Svergnmitle, noted philosopher and importer of fine kazoo materials. After mastering the art of the rumba, she migrated with the sea monkeys to Borneo to “find her inner shelf life”; whatever that means.

In April of 2005, she had enough of the sea monkey migration scene and teleported to Seattle, WA to take on singing in the soon to be world famous Mister Miyagi band. The band couldn’t argue with someone who kicked the door in on their secret underground lair/rehearsal room, did a triple lindy (which she learned from Thornton Melon himself!), and busted out a 42 octave scale; without even warming up! The band was impressed with her Mad Skillz™ and Audrey was impressed with their not-so-art deco interior design themes (as determined by the ADSW). Lead singer/guitarist Dave Mayer was quoted as saying, “Wow, does she ever have Mad Skillz™”.

While not gigging with the band, Audrey can be found in Pioneer Square, signing copies of her book “Window Shades and Seasoning Salt in Port Orchard” or helping elderly bison cross the road. She also enjoys a rousing game of Tetris and spending time with her pet rhinoceros Bill. The end.